Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Latest...

Warning:  This post became extremely, extremely long.  Get a cup of coffee and a muffin for this one, or skip to the bottom for a SUMMARY. for real.

Hmmmm. Can't sleep. Haven't written on this thing for many weeks. Thought it was time for an update.

I know people are wondering what in the world is the status for le Rey and I getting together. Like starting our life together. In the same country.

Or maybe you're not.

I mean, it has been years now.

Years of being apart. Years of waiting. Years of things in the way that had to get done first (UK citizenship for le Rey, deployments, getting out of the military, now my visa).

I am trying not to complain here. 

I mean, really, each day that I've had here since I moved back last December has been extra time with my family and friends here in AZ.

This is something I will not have when I move to England.

That is part of the "living abroad" experience--I can't have all my loved ones from around the world with me.


So I am trying to make the most of my time here in Arizona while I can. 

Without letting the fact that I miss le Rey so much hinder my time here with loved ones.

Oh, yea........update: le Rey has a job and a flat (apartment) for us (part of the long list of requirements for my visa for the UK). But it could still still take a bit of time for ALL of the paperwork to be submitted and processed.

Maybe sometime in January.

Luckily, I was not holding my breath to be in England for Christmas.

I think my expectations for things and wishing and hoping went out a loooong time ago. Now when things happen, I'm pleasantly surprised. I like it better that way. This brings less disappointment, and a higher frequency of happier days. I prefer to be happy as often as possible. Which is a choice. And a manipulation of the mind at times.

Also extra luckily (well, blessing actually), le Rey's brother and sister-in-law are living in Paris this year for work, so le Rey will have family to spend Christmas with.

I cannot imagine if le Rey was in London alone for Christmas. That would seriously break my heart.

Since we have been flying to see each other for years now in this long-distance relationship, money is sortof running out for too many flights.

Money is sortof going towards visa costs, rent for upcoming apartment in England, and student loans (mine).

And money for our wedding which I tried to switch from June to April to have slightly cheaper rates for flights and accommodation and not be so close to the Olympics.

But who am I kidding? Planning a wedding in an international city that I still don't have a visa for? I really have no desire to attempt to plan it, coordinate dates and times for everyone, etc.

I really just want to get to England, set up our place to live,
get a job and eat dinners together and dance in our living              
room barefoot. every.night.

I would like to hold hands with le Rey, snuggle on the couch,
go to church together again, kiss each other good morning,
at night, and for any reason in between. I would like to share
daily life with le Rey again.

How the crap have I (and le Rey) waited SO long? And why?

Surely this has crossed your mind.

We must look like a pair of fools.

I have for sure asked le Rey, more than once........"Are we sure this is meant to be? Why is it taking so long if it is? Why have there been so many obstacles?"

Who knows? Will the waiting make it all that much sweeter? Will we appreciate each other more than the average couple because of all this? Will we adore each other passionately until we're 90?

Only time will tell, but I know I do not have crazy, romantic, on a pedestal type of ideas about marriage. It will be tough and we will have to work at it. Everyday with the same person. For years (hopefully many, many years). But surely we will get sick of each other. There must be so many highs and lows.

But, I love le Rey deeply for a million reasons and cannot imagine taking on the massive committment of marriage with anyone but him. That is why I waited (and continue to now wait for the freakin' visa!). I have always felt that it's him. He's the one. We may not have had a lot of time together the last couple years.....but we were still there for each other emotionally the best we could. New jobs. Deployments. Family stuff. The agony of waiting. Supporting each other with kind words and prayer from afar with the intention of being husband and wife someday.

Sorry if this sound a bit dismal.....I blame it on the fact that I can't sleep and it's extremely late.

But I am doing well!! A lot better since the last time I blogged.

I can see now, more than ever, the importance of living in the moment and not waiting until __________ happens before "your life can begin". If I would've thought that, I shudder to think what my mental state would be right now or what risks I may not have taken.

I hate when people say to me, "Why are you doing that now? I'll do that when I retire" or "My life didn't begin until I had a baby" etc. This is not a dress rehearsal people! Today could be your last day!!

So, while I miss le Rey and have a hard time sometimes (especially without an end date in sight!)...I think I'm human and a pretty darn happy person, trying to make the most out of my life!

I have also recently been given the enormous blessing of a long-term assignment at a super nice school (in second grade).

I mean, really. No behavior problems. Kids working hard. I am compliamenting them ALL THE TIME they are just so sweet and diligent! I make sure I appreciate this class every day because these are seriously the groups that you have to remember when you have a really bad day in a challenging class (or when you have a challenging year).

You would have to see it to believe it.

I can hardly believe how smoothly each day is. Day after day.

Anyway, it goes until Christmas.

So wow. That was long enough.

Perhaps I should edit this.

Or try to sleep.

Visa: le Rey has worked very hard to get many things done for it and we are getting closer.  And I'm really OK. I have a lot to be thankful for.
Wedding plans: pppppffffffffff.
My portfolio business: no new sales, but I've been spending a.lot.of.time posting on my teacher blog (which is a strange, strange blog world) and uploading documents that will eventually lead to me uploading documents on Teachers-Pay-Teachers, etc websites to generate more business (hopefully).

With all this time spent on the teacher blog, and my new favorite place in the world (PINTEREST) and finding facebook to strangely not give me updates on very many people (problem in my settings?)......I am trying to delete my facebook. But I still need to write down everyone's email address from my inbox.


Love you all,

I promise my next update will be Christmas cookies and sleigh bells and wreaths and Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation kindof of fun!!!